Hello friends! Thank you for the support and friendship you all shared during this sad time. I spent the last week with my Mother, just she and I and of course the medical staff. She is home and has decided not to do anything curative. I have accepted that and am trying to be as brave as she is. She has always fascinated me and this situation has truly highlighted what a phenomenal woman she is. She looks death in the face and smiles graciously.
The week we spent together was a week I will always remember. We laughed until we cried, we looked at new fashion magazines and old pictures. I asked questions and she gave spirited answers. Though she has a distant look in her eyes, she has a new confidence. She isn't shy anymore, she is assertive. She asked for a Mounds candy bar. I replied, "oh mom, it isn't a good idea to eat it before your dinner". To which she replied, " If I am to full, I won't eat dinner, if I miss a meal I will be fine". She laughed and devoured the candy bar. She is so tiny now, but still very concerned with her appearance. She is such a lady!
I spent time in my childhood room, looking out the window while Mom was sleeping.
How many times had I daydreamed while looking out that window. I would dream of my future and now here I am living the life I had imagined, yet looking out the window trying to comes to terms with my Mother's fate. Pleading with fate that time will be our friend!
I am home now and I realized how much I missed my family. My Mom was anxious for me to return to my family because that "is where I should be". Even though we live in the same city and I was only spending 7 days/24 hours a day with Mom - she felt I was needed elsewhere. Oh, that Mom of mine! Of course, I will continue to see her daily. A sibling is with Mom now taking her turn.
The Doctor has prepared us that at minute she will suffer a catastrophic event. She is ready, I am not.
On a happy note, Daughter# 1 has secured post graduation employment. I am so proud of her. I guess this is truly the "circle of life".
I probably won't update as often as I had before Mom became ill. But I do want to continue to connect with you! Thanks again friends!
