Off The Chest....

So before the new year comes and we start anew, there are some things I need to get off my chest! I have discovered (ok, actually I have known for some time - I am just now ready to "own it".) that I do not like working with others! I can do work or volunteer groups fine - but when I am emotionally involved forget it!

Latest instance that made me "own it" was over the holidays dealing with family. As you know my Mother is very frail and is lucky to see 2013. I have 3 older siblings. They are much older than I am and we vary in degree of differences from each other. Well, the truth be told, I can't stand making decisions regarding my Mother and her care with them. I can't stand it! It amazes me that we are from the same parents. I am not saying that I am perfect (far from it) or that my ideas are the best (close though...smile). In co-child situations I have no authority over any of the other adult children. Ugh! So many of the decisions that are made I do not fully support - thus the foundation of my frustration - there is nothing I can do.

Which brings me to my second issue of concern - co-parenting. UGH! Though I have been divorced for "ever" this co-parenting "thing" still stinks. My children are 22 and 19. Still the girl's father is a burden as he aids the 19 year old in making poor decisions. He is 53 going on 19, thus the reason we are divorced. So while she loves to follow his advice, it is the advice of another 19 year old whose frontal lobe has yet to close :-)! This is sooooooooo frustrating for me. Again, the foundation of my frustration - there is nothing I can do, but love her and be there when things fall apart!

So, now I have made a new resolution to recognize the things I can not change and not worry about them. Everything will be ok! All I can do is my best in the areas that I am responsible for! Do you have anything to get off of your chest before the new year arrives? Are you making any new resolutions? So while I have made this resolution, I know I will make the annual "take better care of myself" resolution too!

I wish you peace, love and happiness in the new year! Bring on 2013!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Blog Friends! I hope you will enjoy a blessed Christmas day surrounded by those you love the most! Enjoy and I hope Santa is good to you! Hugs!

Happy Holidays!

Hello and Happy Holidays everyone! I apologize for being so inconsistent with my blog entries, but I honestly don't know where the time goes - especially at this time of year. I hope you are well and preparing for a wonderful holiday season surrounded by all the people you love the most!

I have finished my Christmas shopping and I even have everything wrapped. One little "issue" with the USPS, but I think that present should arrive today. I love shopping online as long as the carriers fulfill their part!

Today I am driving to pick up Daughter #2 for the holidays. She just had her wisdom teeth out, so the first few days she may be kind of "ouchy", but I can't wait to get her home. Hopefully, the weather will be OK while I make this 4 hour trip.

There is nothing better than having both of my girls home in their rooms at night, it provides such a good night sleep for me. Preparing food for the entire family is a joy and I can't wait to get started.

Well, 2012 has really been an roller coaster - such incredible highs and such painful lows. I wish you a blessed Christmas or whatever holiday you celebrate. Peace and Good Will to all!

Target!

Hi everybody! Thank you so very much for your patience during my absence regarding my Mother's health. It has been a long journey and it continues. What I have learned is that I can't check out on everything. I have to keep living and doing things that I enjoy! Even though this has been an incredibly difficult journey, I have realized the amazing things that I have in my life and that I am so blessed. So I am back to writing, sharing and trying to keep things on a happy, light note! So that said.....oh my....do I have some sharing to do. I went shopping yesterday, alone, to just kind of check out. Ha ha....nice pun on "check out". Well, my favorite item that I checked out were these amazing slippers at Target. Don't you love them? Can you see the clear sequins on them? So cute and so cheap - only $19.99!
Thanks again and I will be back soon!





Supersized Mums

Wow - so on my return home I walked around the yard. Much to my surprise my Mum is super sized this fall!

This was one medium plant that spread out pr fell down from the heavy rain. I never got a chance to lift it and tie some rope around the middle to hold it up. So, it took care of it all by itself - it filled in throughout the middle. It is amazing. I don't know if you can tell in this picture, but in person it is just unbelievable!

Have a great day!

Home Again!

Hello friends! Thank you for the support and friendship you all shared during this sad time. I spent the last week with my Mother, just she and I and of course the medical staff. She is home and has decided not to do anything curative. I have accepted that and am trying to be as brave as she is. She has always fascinated me and this situation has truly highlighted what a phenomenal woman she is. She looks death in the face and smiles graciously.

The week we spent together was a week I will always remember. We laughed until we cried, we looked at new fashion magazines and old pictures. I asked questions and she gave spirited answers. Though she has a distant look in her eyes, she has a new confidence. She isn't shy anymore, she is assertive. She asked for a Mounds candy bar. I replied, "oh mom, it isn't a good idea to eat it before your dinner". To which she replied, " If I am to full, I won't eat dinner, if I miss a meal I will be fine". She laughed and devoured the candy bar. She is so tiny now, but still very concerned with her appearance. She is such a lady!

I spent time in my childhood room, looking out the window while Mom was sleeping.

How many times had I daydreamed while looking out that window. I would dream of my future and now here I am living the life I had imagined, yet looking out the window trying to comes to terms with my Mother's fate.  Pleading with fate that time will be our friend!

I am home now and I realized how much I missed my family. My Mom was anxious for me to return to my family because that "is where I should be". Even though we live in the same city and I was only spending 7 days/24 hours a day with Mom - she felt I was needed elsewhere. Oh, that Mom of mine! Of course, I will continue to see her daily. A sibling is with Mom now taking her turn.

The Doctor has prepared us that at minute she will suffer a catastrophic event. She is ready, I am not.

On a happy note, Daughter# 1 has secured post graduation employment. I am so proud of her. I guess this is truly the "circle of life".

I probably won't update as often as I had before Mom became ill. But I do want to continue to connect with you! Thanks again friends!

Thank you!

I have the best blog friends in the world. Thank you all so much for your prayers and support. It is truly comforting during this difficult time! Thank you and God bless you all!